Why a sense of command matters for your credibility.

What kind of presence do you have?

Peaceful?

Commanding?

Authoritative?

Scary?

Mean?

Warm?

Open?

Stand-off-ish?

Your closet is more than just about helping you feel put together (although that’s a MASSIVE bonus for moving about your day when you feel READY for it). It is about the enclothed cognition of wearing an outfit that helps you step into the fullness of YOU.

When we feel ready, we act ready. When we look put together, it takes root and impacts how we show up to the world.

I suspect that even with the incredible tools we’ve learned from The Style Membership of learning how to be put together, many women may still struggle with a sense of COMMAND in their presence. 

The definition of Command is to ‘deserve and get something good, such as attention, respect, or a lot of money (Cambridge Dictionary).

Do you feel like your presence says “I deserve to get something good”?

I know, even the word ‘deserve’ can feel icky to us because many of us grew up with this idea that you don’t deserve anything without working hard for it. It actually comes from the Puritans (the idea that there has to be pain in order to accomplish something). This has translated to, “Who do you think you are to deserve anything?”

But let me tell you something: Your sense of COMMAND matters to the people around you. It breeds trust which breeds credibility.

How many times have you been around someone who looked sharp as hell but when you started talking to her, she was different than what you were hoping? Maybe she was a bit cold, or timid, or even appeared to be self-conscious.

It’s a bit of a mind game, isn’t it? We think that because someone looks a certain way, he or she SHOULD be engaging, curious, and kind. 

And our clothes go a LONG way in getting us to step into the fullness of who we are (thank you enclothed cognition. 

But let me offer this to you: our beliefs about ourselves are what impact how we show up. And how we show up can make or break our credibility as leaders, colleagues, partners, friends, volunteers, etc. 

The thing is this: you have something to say; you have something to give. You deserve (there’s that word again) to be trusted and taken at your word. But it’s going to be hard for people to do that if you don’t embody command- the belief that you DESERVE something good. It’s an inside job.

You know what people with command do?

They dress for the day.

They ask questions.

They ask for feedback.

They remain open towards people.

They are curious about the world around them.

They take meaningful, decisive action.

They build trust with those around them.

They are deeply respected. 

Their sense of command comes from within- they have command over themselves; respect for themselves, and it pours out into all areas of their lives. The result of this, of course, is credibility: credibility with your family, friends, boss, colleagues, and teammates.

Your clothing is an external manifestation of the beliefs you have about yourself.

It’s not about dressing in head-to-toe Chanel; it’s about being READY- whatever ready looks like for you- and emanating a sense of command and credibility so that the mission of your work and life can be moved forward in a meaningful way.

What kind of presence do you want to have? And how can your daily clothing choices project that presence?

Will I go back to Beautycounter? What happens now?

I have been getting this question in its various forms over the last month since Beautycounter (temporarily) closed its doors and all of us who were Brand Advocates for the company became unemployed.

What I’ve realized since Beautycounter closed its doors is this:

It was an incredible opportunity for me when I started. I didn’t know my next steps after moving back from living abroad for several months. I knew I didn’t want to go back to grant-writing or work under fluorescent lights for 8 hours a day working for a non-profit. Beautycounter’s mission had compelled me for years prior and I was quite familiar, I just didn’t want to be perceived a certain way by my peers for joining Direct Sales.

But when you want flexibility and you need money, the voices pipe down real quick. So I joined.

And honestly? I’m so glad I did. No regrets. I worked with an incredible group of women who all valued the mission to get safer products into the market place AND valued their own professional and personal development.

Beautycounter served as context for me to build my coaching muscles and it became my favorite part:

-Weekly coaching calls

-Voxer messages back and forth with team members

-Helping teammates handle objections, communicate clearly, show up with presence, etc.

I literally would be AMPED walking around my kitchen Voxering with a teammate working through a problem. Whether it was speaking belief, helping them discern a next step or working through mindset shifts, those moments of connection were ALWAYS my favorite.

This type of connection was also my favorite with my MM Wellness Nutrition clients.

It was also my favorite part of my job as a Contract Coach with a non-profit team I work with in El Paso.

Community. Collaboration. Problem-Solving. Pep-Talks. Action-Steps. Moving The Needle. Staying On Mission. Implementing appropriate boundaries with ourselves and others. Learning how to navigate difficult conversations and feedback. Living On Purpose…

These are the things that LIGHT ME UP. And they are the things that Beautycounter gave me the opportunity to do for 5 years.

And, upon reflection, it’s the things I’ve been doing in all the hats I wear for the last 5+ years.

Will I go back to Beautycounter when it returns? Honestly I’m not sure. The reason I say that is not because I don’t LOVE the company and mission (always have always will). It’s because now that I realize my REAL zone of enthusiasm is helping people remove roadblocks to get the clarity they need to take action and live with intention, I don’t really want to do anything else.

If I do go back, it will be in a much smaller capacity. I still LOVE being a resource for you and GEEK OUT over beauty products (and I’ll always be a stickler for clean). That said, I feel pulled to expand my work life into Personal Development coaching and really lean into the part of my jobs (Nutrition, Beautycounter and non-profit work) that lights me up.

So that’s where I am.

I feel aligned and excited to help individuals and teams take meaningful action in their life.

Stay connected with me via my weekly emails, The MM Weekly, for tips and thoughts on whole-person health.

To learn more about Personal Development coaching and it see if it may be a good fit for you, browse around my website or email me at hello@meredithmayo.com.

Here’s to living life with intention and purpose,

MM

Does Direct Sales Prey On Women?

Does Direct Sales Prey On Women?

I wanted to write a blog unpacking this question because I’m reading Debora Spar’s “Wonder Women: Sex, Power, and the quest for perfection.” 

I’m in the chapter where she’s talking about the ‘9-5’ work world and how the statistics for women in the workplace tend to hover around 15-20%. 

(At the time of her writing):

Only 21 companies on the Fortune 500 list are run by female chief executives.

Only 16.6 percent of these companies’ board members are women.

Women account for only 16% of partners at the largest law firms in the United States and only 19% of the country’s surgeons.

Across the board, women earn on average twenty-three cents less than men for every dollar they earn.

“Where women have made significant strides, for better or worse, is at the lower end of the pay scale and professional spectrum, in areas such as nursing, hairdressing, and middle school teaching, where women wholly dominate men” (Spar, 2014).

“The aggregate numbers makes clear that most positions of power in this country…are still persistently held by men. Women are flocking into college, into graduate programs, into entry-level and midlevel positions across every conceivable industry- but they are falling out well before they reach the top. Why?” (Spar, 2014)

“Clearly, painfully, they’re getting stuck because so many of them are choosing to stop. Women are not getting fired from midlevel positions at accounting or law firms. They are deciding…that they need to stay at home, or work part time, or step away from fast track. Individually, each of these women’s moves may make great sense. Together, though, they have created a landscape where women are still scarce…” (Spar, 2014).

As I read this chapter, I thought of the many women I know in the Beautycounter space who were in corporate jobs but needed more flexibility and still wanted/needed to be able to contribute financially to their families so they started in direct sales. 

They felt the pull to stay home with the kids.

They were paying too much for daycare or a nanny so they pulled back in their 9-5 (or quit all together) and decided instead to work from home and try their hand at sales in a way that worked for their schedule.

Is there anything wrong with this? Absolutely not. 

This blog post isn’t necessarily to defend direct sales or Beautycounter (the direct sales company I work with). It’s simply to sit with the thoughts and questions that were stirred as I read this chapter about the concessions that women have to make in their careers.

Maybe this is me looking for the both-and, but the thoughts swirling in my head as I read this chapter went something like:

1.

“This is why direct sales can seem predatory- because somewhere along the way, it became this default landing place for women who still wanted to make money and work. It’s as if some weird uncle emerged from the bushes who had been waiting on the right moment to approach his highly intellectual, highly motivated, but conflicted niece about ’an income opportunity’.” 

2.

“This is why I’ve looked at direct sales with such judgment over the years- and find myself trying to feel better about it- because it has become the ‘back up plan’ for so many women. It’s not anyone’s first choice. No one goes to college to go into direct sales. No one goes to graduate school to go into direct sales. Direct sales is the thing you do when your other options look stale (like in my case) or you’re needing income and work in a way that can work for your schedule/lifestyle and this is the only option. Basically: direct sales is the Plan B (or C, or D), that no one thought they’d ever be doing yet here they are doing it.”

3.

It’s sort of like women in direct sales are “making the most of it.” Like, “Well, this is what I’m doing now, so may as well go all in and do it well” (the top earners are saying this, anyway).

And honestly, I think it’s great. Do I wish we got here differently? Yes. Do I wish direct sales could be like any other sales job in the world that carries with it the perception of more viability or impressiveness? Yes.

It’s funny- I often talk about the ‘doctors and lawyers and DPT’s’ who work in Beautycounter as if I’m trying to add credibility to Beautycounter and direct sales in general. 

But no one in a law firm or doctor’s office would ever say “Gretchen here has been working in direct sales for 10 years and decided to join our practice! We can’t wait to learn from her.”

Maybe one day direct sales won’t have the stigma that it does now (I think we’re getting there but we have a long way to go).

I still feel embarrassed that this is what I do for work.

I still feel like when someone learns I sell skincare and makeup on the internet they’re going to avoid me for fear I try to get them to “join my team” or buy something from me. 

Or, even more vulnerably, I fear that if anyone from my grad school program saw me online selling skincare they’d think, “Oh. So that’s where she ended up. What a shame.”

The perception of what this job looks like to other people is a real bummer, honestly.

It can feel like people in direct sales are trying to prove something with an ‘economic opportunity for women.’

Yet at the same time: can’t it be that?

Can't it be a way for a woman to earn income in a way that works with her schedule, adds value to her life, and allows her to use her creativity and professionalism to make a paycheck?

At the end of the day, I don’t have the solutions for women experiencing the tension to stay home or work, many of them choosing ultimately to stay home or work part time. I do wish there was a world in which direct sales was just seen as any other job- a viable solution, dare I say, to the issue we witness with women in the workplace. And if women wanted to do direct sales, for whatever reason, I wish it wouldn’t be viewed as "Susan settling” because she chose to sacrificially be the parent to stay home more.

This is a complex topic. It obviously struck a chord with me as someone who works in direct sales (and who chose to without the tension of staying home with kids). Although I don’t offer any solutions or have this tied up in a bow, I hope you’ll hold space for these musings.

And in my perfect world, no one would bat an eye at women who work in direct sales- no matter how they got into the field. 

This is part 1 of a series on Musings on Direct Sales. As I continue mulling, I may publish a Part 2 so stay tuned. 

*I do think it’s worth noting that OF COURSE there have been predatory, unethical MLM’s and Pyramid Schemes. Thankfully, those companies exist less and less.

"It'll be settling...it'll indicate I can't get a real job."

If you're reading this it's because you find yourself curious about working with Beautycounter. I love to see it.

I first heard about Beautycounter back in 2016 when I was desperately researching clean beauty brands (at the time, even knowing which search term to use was tricky- eco? green? clean? better?) because I was struggling with relentless hormonal acne. I LOVED the idea that this was a company who went to Washington DC to advocate for more health protective laws (Beautycounter has helped pass 15 pieces of legislation at the time of this writing!). 

What I didn't love was the business model. 

You see, I'm a military spouse and it feels like everyone and their mom is in some type of networking marketing company and I just couldn't be bothered. I thought, “I'll be settling. This will indicate I can't get a real job and will prove I'm just as dumb as my high school math teachers thought I was.” (how's that for a little brutal honesty).

Fast forward 3 years, I was very into clean eating and clean living and was recommending Beautycounter, Well People and Honest to friends who would reach out and ask what mascara they should try or what tinted moisturizer they should use that's clean. 

By the time I got back from a stint in Spain, I knew I needed to make an income, and I didn't know what that would look like yet, so I decided to give Beautycounter a go while I “figured it out.”

Nearly 5 years later and here's what I've figured out:

+ I deeply love this work

+ There's nothing wrong with joining because you need income

+ If you're already recommending safer products to friends, it's just good sense to be compensated for your time and effort

+ I've sold myself more and more on the mission and values of Beautycounter because as a women's health coach I know the impact the products we apply can have on our long-term health

Whether you just want to make a couple hundred bucks a month for tee-ball money or to go on that girl's trip without financial stress, or you want to make a significant contribution to your finances, there's a seat at the table for you.

Where I used to once think an opportunity like this was ‘cheap’ because there was no barrier to entry, I now know that's the very thing that makes it empowering and equitable; how very PRO woman it is. 

There is a way for you to make an impact on the health of the women in your life while also making an income. All from the carpool line or from your couch.  You decide. It's your business. And I'll be here to support you every step of the way.

Ready to do the thing? Click here to join.

Your health wasn't protected for 84 years. This moved the needle:

Did you know that up until 2022, 1938 was the last time the federal government passed a major piece of legislation to protect the health and safety of consumers through personal care products?

Here’s the math on that: EIGHTY FOUR YEARS of massive neglect for the health of the consumer (which is you and me. As a matter of fact, women drive 70-80% of all consumer purchasing). The Modernization of Cosmetics Regulation Act of 2022 (MoCRA) was a massive step in the right direction, but we’ve got a long ways to go.

If you recall the Claire’s debacle with little girls applying makeup with asbestos or the Johnson & Johnson baby powder lawsuits, you are aware of the fact that up until a year ago (per MoCRA), the FDA has not had the power to recall unsafe personal care products.

To be clear, there are currently no legal requirements for any cosmetic manufacturer marketing products to American consumers to test their products for safety," the FDA said. For example, the agency says that in this case, it did not have the authority to force Claire's to pull the potentially dangerous products off store shelves. (Merritt Kennedy for NPR).

MoCRA gives the FDA more control over cosmetics, allowing them recall authority (imagine that!), facility registration requirements, and improved labeling.

It definitely moves the needle forward for consumer protection, but the FDA still doesn’t have to review or restrict harmful chemicals. (Not-so-fun fact: the U.S. takes an “innocent until proven guilty” approach to chemicals introduced to the marketplace yearly- of which there are thousands- whereas the EU takes a “guilty until proven innocent” approach).

Whereas the EU has banned somewhere around 1300 chemicals of concern in their products, the U.S. has banned around 10.

Good news for you if you use Beautycounter: Beautycounter has banned 2,800 questionable ingredients.

And because Beautycounter, along with other leaders in the clean beauty/consumer safety space, knows that MoCRA was only one step in the right direction, the Advocacy efforts continue (did you know Beautycounter has an in-house Advocacy team? You’re investing in a healthier future simply by purchasing skincare or makeup! How incredible is that?).

This is why we go to Washington DC regularly: to continue the crucial work of advocating for more health-protective laws so that one day, all beauty can be clean beauty (which means ALL companies and manufacturers are adhering to practices that protect the consumer vs. the system we have had for the last century).

Beautycounter Brand Advocates in front of the U.S. Capitol on a Lobbying Trip

Our next trip to the Hill is this May and Beautycounter Brand Advocates have the opportunity to go and represent their communities and lobby their elected officials for more oversight when it comes to what we put on our bodies.

I’d love to represent you. Because this is a movement to get cleaner products into the marketplace and because visibility of the brand means more awareness and more awareness means more advocacy (we’ve helped pass 15 pieces of legislation in the last 10 years!), the way to secure my spot as your representative on this DC trip is to continue to get Beautycounter into the hands of more women. Here’s the idea:

Beautycounter is a mission-based company that uses commerce as an engine for change.

Women learn about Beautycounter and either use the products or at the very least, become aware that what they put on their bodies matters and they start to make informed choices in the beauty aisle at Target.

When women DO purchase Beautycounter, it allows the Advocacy team to keep partnering with other needle-movers and lobbying for more health-protective laws (which means things like MoCRA get passed)

The biggest way women know to purchase Beautycounter? Through the thousands of Brand Advocates Beautycounter employees as contract employees (I have proudly been one since 2019!).

This story is best told person to person. Products can’t educate you sitting on a shelf.

The brass tacks breakdown:

Beautycounter consultants —> Beautycounter sales —> Allows for Advocacy Team’s work + continued product formulation using transparently sourced ingredients that have been rigorously tested for safety

Beautycounter is simply a medium for change. Conscious capitalism, you could call it.

If you’d like to partner with me in this work, you can join me here.

If you’d like to be a part of the journey to help me secure my spot on the Beautycounter DC trip, you can continue to shop your Beautycounter with me and send your friends my way! It’s an earned trip which means it’s a community effort and as much as it humbles me and puts me far outside of my comfort zone to ask for your support, I know that the bigger mission of consumer safety is vital. It affects all of us. If I make it to DC, I will just be the physical embodiment of all of you. And I’ll bring you with me every step of the way.

The fact that Beautycounter is a clean beauty brand that LOBBIES IN WASHINGTON DC (I mean. Let that sink in for a second), is what caught my attention about this brand back in 2016 when I first heard of them. Advocacy is the current of my work- it’s why I’ve been a Beautycounter Brand Advocate for 4.5 years.

Your health and safety deeply matter to me. I want you to live a long, vibrant, healthy life and I believe there’s an onus on our government to provide more protection so the burden isn’t on you as the consumer. And I plan to tell them that this May.

Let’s go, girls.

Are your fav Trader Joe’s products wreaking havoc on your metabolism?

Read this before you go crazy in the Trader Joe’s personal-care aisle.

The everyday lotions, soaps, hairsprays, mousses, and other products you use may be causing harm to your hormones. It's likely that you are unknowingly using products with chemicals that disrupt your hormones. These harmful chemicals are hidden under the labels “fragrance” and “parfum” in your bathroom products. Take a look at the bottles of some products in your bathroom, and you will probably find these words unless you have intentionally switched to safer alternatives. For a guided journey into your bathroom, text me the word LABELS at 803-291-9171 to join my 5-day “Look At Your Labels” challenge.

WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER?

Hormone-disrupting chemicals act like hidden villains in your body. They interfere with the messages that your hormones send throughout your body, which affects how your body functions. These chemicals, also called endocrine-disrupting chemicals, are often disguised as "fragrance" or "parfum." They prevent messages from being sent or received in your body. This can lead to things like:

• Weight gain

• Memory Loss

• Autoimmunity

• Subfertility or Infertility

• Recurrent miscarriages

• Developmental issues for babies and kiddos later in life

• Thyroid Issues (regulates metabolism in the body)

• Migraines

• More

What I suggest is simple and affordable: eliminate scented candles, plug-ins, air fresheners, scented soaps and lotions, laundry detergents, Febreeze, Lysol, and similar products from your home and surroundings. Avoid using them on your body.

Using fragrance every day on your body, or breathing it in, can harm your health. I wouldn’t be doing my job or caring for you well if I didn’t clearly lay out what’s at stake if you keep using products with hidden Fragrance or Parfum.

Yes, this means your Trader Joe’s holiday-scented candles and lotions. 

Endocrine disrupting chemicals, like Fragrance/Parfum, don't follow the saying "the dose makes the poison." Even a small amount applied/inhaled daily can harm your health and your family’s or anyone who comes into your home.

You deserve better.

You can make better health choices for you and your family simply by shopping. When you’re adding items to InstaCart or roaming the Target aisles, look for "Fragrance-Free" on labels. If a product has fragrance, check for ingredient disclosure on the bottle or website. If you want the easy button when it comes to your beauty products, I recommend and sell Beautycounter because they prioritize transparency and safety. (Don't miss the Black Friday Promo!)

Be on the lookout for an upcoming resource from me with a guide to low-tox living in your bathroom, kitchen, and household. Stay in the loop here. In the meantime, text me the word LABELS at 803-291-9171 for my 5-day LOOK AT YOUR LABELS challenge so you can easily discern products of concern in your bathroom and learn about safer replacements.

Here’s to doing the next right thing for our health and the health of the people we care about.

Is it really liquid gold?

There’s a popular skincare brand with a product called Liquid Gold- it’s their Vitamin C serum. The primary ingredient is L-Ascorbic Acid (pretty common for Vitamin C serums on the market).

But did you know: there’s another Vitamin C serum on the market with 10% potency (gold standard) and a formula that’s on average 160x more stable than the leading ingredient in the other popular skincare company’s formula? That’s right: I’m talking about the Beautycounter AllBright C Serum.

It has 5% Tetrahexyldecyl ascorbate + 5% bis-glyceryl ascorbate and has been demonstrated to be on average 160x more stable than L-ascorbic acid (the leading ingredient in the popular brand’s formula) with MORE effective cell penetration! A stable formula means it will yield results and penetrate deeper for maximum results, and that’s what you want from your skincare, isn’t it?

160X MORE STABLE than the primary ingredient used in most Vitamin C Serums on the market?! For just $90? (The product I mentioned above retails for $136). That’s a CRAZY good value proposition.

Of note: Vitamin C serums should be expensive. They can be incredibly unstable so creating a stable one costs a ton of time, resources, and testing. If you want results, don’t buy your Vitamin C serum at TJ Maxx. It’s a waste of your money.

To score the Vitamin C serum with 160x the stability than other leading brands with a rating of 4.9 stars, click HERE.

It's time to swap out your IT Cosmetics CC Cream for this

There is a way for you to have medium to full coverage foundation in a way that feels like your second-skin WHILE treating your visage to clean ingredients.

Several clients have recently asked me to shade match them for Skin Twin because they’d like a cleaner alternative to the IT Cosmetics CC Cream they’ve been using. Naturally, I wanted to look into the ingredients. Here’s what I found:

When it comes to your delicate hormones, I don’t want you taking any risks. The reason I say that is because hormone-disrupting chemicals are abundant in many of the personal care products on the shelves today since it’s such an unregulated industry (though we are making headway with legislation!).

If you are looking for buildable full coverage with clean ingredients that have been tested for safety, look no further than my very favorite foundation: Skin Twin. It applies like a dream, lasts all day and the shade options are gorgeous (all 27 of them!).

It goes on like a dream with Beautycounter’s Glow First Priming Serum. Want help shade-matching? Comment SHADE MATCH below or send me a DM on IG (@mmwellness_).