What kind of presence do you have?
Peaceful?
Commanding?
Authoritative?
Scary?
Mean?
Warm?
Open?
Stand-off-ish?
Your closet is more than just about helping you feel put together (although that’s a MASSIVE bonus for moving about your day when you feel READY for it). It is about the enclothed cognition of wearing an outfit that helps you step into the fullness of YOU.
When we feel ready, we act ready. When we look put together, it takes root and impacts how we show up to the world.
I suspect that even with the incredible tools we’ve learned from The Style Membership of learning how to be put together, many women may still struggle with a sense of COMMAND in their presence.
The definition of Command is to ‘deserve and get something good, such as attention, respect, or a lot of money (Cambridge Dictionary).
Do you feel like your presence says “I deserve to get something good”?
I know, even the word ‘deserve’ can feel icky to us because many of us grew up with this idea that you don’t deserve anything without working hard for it. It actually comes from the Puritans (the idea that there has to be pain in order to accomplish something). This has translated to, “Who do you think you are to deserve anything?”
But let me tell you something: Your sense of COMMAND matters to the people around you. It breeds trust which breeds credibility.
How many times have you been around someone who looked sharp as hell but when you started talking to her, she was different than what you were hoping? Maybe she was a bit cold, or timid, or even appeared to be self-conscious.
It’s a bit of a mind game, isn’t it? We think that because someone looks a certain way, he or she SHOULD be engaging, curious, and kind.
And our clothes go a LONG way in getting us to step into the fullness of who we are (thank you enclothed cognition.
But let me offer this to you: our beliefs about ourselves are what impact how we show up. And how we show up can make or break our credibility as leaders, colleagues, partners, friends, volunteers, etc.
The thing is this: you have something to say; you have something to give. You deserve (there’s that word again) to be trusted and taken at your word. But it’s going to be hard for people to do that if you don’t embody command- the belief that you DESERVE something good. It’s an inside job.
You know what people with command do?
They dress for the day.
They ask questions.
They ask for feedback.
They remain open towards people.
They are curious about the world around them.
They take meaningful, decisive action.
They build trust with those around them.
They are deeply respected.
Their sense of command comes from within- they have command over themselves; respect for themselves, and it pours out into all areas of their lives. The result of this, of course, is credibility: credibility with your family, friends, boss, colleagues, and teammates.
Your clothing is an external manifestation of the beliefs you have about yourself.
It’s not about dressing in head-to-toe Chanel; it’s about being READY- whatever ready looks like for you- and emanating a sense of command and credibility so that the mission of your work and life can be moved forward in a meaningful way.
What kind of presence do you want to have? And how can your daily clothing choices project that presence?